Hinds Feet on High Places

“I am afraid,” she said. “I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can.”
“That is true,” agreed the Shepherd. “To love does mean to put your self into the power of the loved one and to become very vulnerable to pain, and you are very much-afraid of pain, are you not?”

-Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurdard

First thing, if you haven't read the above book...I highly recommend it. This allegorical novel speaks to the depths of our souls. It enchants us, it challenges us, it pierces the places we try to hide, and it breathes and brings life.

Secondly, I am a girlfriend.

I say this because, this is a scary thing. 

To be in a relationship that is serious  and not some flippant thing. 

...one that you are fully invested in...is scary.

It's scary because, as Much Afraid realized, you let down all of your tall walls of protection so that the other person might come in and really know and love you.

But it is also a beautiful thing.

A thing that changes and grows and takes on different shapes and forms in various seasons.

It seems that part of God's design in relationships and ultimately marriage was to make us more like Him. To show us the parts of ourselves that are selfish and impatient. To learn to daily die to what we think we are entitled to, to pride, or to the 'victory' that comes in being right.

And it's hard.

Hollywood lies. Storybooks lie. Facebook lies. Older couples lie. Even our friends lie.
Because the truth is, it's hard, and it takes work, and it can be painful, and there really is an enemy that wants to wage war on your relationship.
 

But while we are trying so hard to not be found out (as people who are imperfect and struggle with many things...including the other person at times) we have missed the power that comes with honesty. When you are honest with the people God has put around you (and honest with God), this power can bring radical change to their relationships and heart.

Recently, I had a very raw and open conversation with God. And then one with a girlfriend on a long car ride. What I realized is that certain things need to change, that I was imperfect, and that we all along the way need a wake-up call...something to jolt us back into reality and into a walk that resembles more of Jesus. 

And God is faithful to give you everything you need to be able to do this as soon as you surrender it to Him. We are coming out of Rosh Hashanah (The Jewish New Year) and entering into Yom Kippur...a time of really letting the Holy Spirit reveal to you the hidden things in your heart.

I am encouraged that it's a New Year and a new season.

And as I began to embark on this journey, God prepared me with scripture I would need to be sustained and encouraged. Before I'm done, I wanted to share it with you here. If there's something you have not yet attained or a place God is calling you into that you don't think you can really make it to...look at these.

Say them out loud.

Post them around your house.

Write them on your hand.

Because 2 Tim 3:16 and Heb 4:12 tell us the power in the Word of God. We know that it is useful for training and for correcting and that it is living and active and sharper than any double edged sword. It is our life line and paired with the Holy Spirit, the only thing that can truly bring radical change when we find ourselves in a dried up place. I hope they bring life to you and resurrect any dead things you are carrying.

xoxo,

mp

Power Verses

1. Hebrews 13:20-21-"That the Great Shepherd of the sheep EQUIPT YOU for doing HIS WILL and may He WORK IN US what is pleasing to Him"
2. 1 Corinthians 10:13-"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man and GOD IS FAITHFUL. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will also PROVIDE A WAY OUT so that you can stand up under it"
3. 2 Corinthians 1:9- "Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death BUT this happened so that we might NOT RELY ON OURSELVES but on GOD who raises the dead"
4. Hebrews 2:18- "Because He himself suffered when He was tempted He is ABLE TO HELP those who are being tempted"
5. Philippians 2:13- "For it is GOD who WORKS IN YOU to will and act according to His good purpose"

Go Easy

 (Source)

Summer has been stretching.

Summer has been growing.

Summer has been tears.

Summer has been laughter.

Summer has been love.

Summer has been challenge.

Summer has been courage.

Summer has been fear.

...summer has been magical.

I am preparing to put myself under the tutelage of the school year once again. I approach this with mixed emotions. Part of me wants to hide myself from reality and stay in a world where stress is limited, the sun shines, and the world has no expectations of you. But reality is unavoidable and necessary. While watching a Woody Allen documentary on Netflix recently (I'm a big Woody Allen fan) he puts it like this,

 "People in life are forced to chose between reality and fantasy. And it's much more pleasant to chose fantasy. But that way lies madness. And you're forced, finally, to chose reality. And you know, reality always disappoints, always hurts you."

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited too. But I'm learning what a sometimes incorrigible (and much too familiar) 'friend' (but really darkness enemy) that stress is. Is zaps away your hope (that the Bible says is, in fact, the anchor for your soul). It heaps upon you what feels like cement bricks until you cannot breath or see the sun. It strangles laughter. And it does not rest until you have given up and surrendered to it.

But this summer has taught me, refreshed me, and sprung me into a new season. I have made some changes and put in place some safeguards. I have learned how comfortable it is to sit in stress and let it strangle you and how critical it is to run from it and to Him. I have the Holy Spirit inside me and Jesus will never give me more than I can handle. I have learned the value in resting and in thought control.

Of not hurrying.
Of keep things simple.
Of letting go of perfection.
And of getting away (and being saved daily from it)

And as the poem below says, I want to go into this new seasons "easy, filled with light, and shinning".

xoxo,
mp

When I am Among the Trees by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
     but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

Planting Together

We planted them together. And watered them. And then tightened the soil around them. It means something, you know, when people plant things together. (from Okay For Now by Gary D. Schmidt)

Timeless truths remind you of the things you take for granted or forget. This summer I am reminded of the ineffable beauty in walking through seasons of life, good times and bad, with the people God has placed around me.

But it means you have to get your hands dirty.

They will need things that may not be convenient to you. Or they will offend you. Or you will need more courage. Or you will be asked things that are hard. But you will also experience the joy in working together and plowing up ground. You will experience the laughter and hope that comes from growth and fruit produced.

This summer, I am greatful that I have women in my life that plant seeds in me. That help me (and remind me!) to water those seeds. That come alongside me and tighten the soil. And it does mean something. It means everything.

I am also greatful for the charge God has placed on me for the lives of the specific women around me. To work with someone in their different seasons and to be invited in to speak into and share their life is a great gift, too.

This summer, I am greatful also for the man God has given me. For my teammate. For the promise I sometimes doubted would come true. Who will never tire or hesitate to get his hands dirty in the soil for me. Who not only waters what God has planted in me but who comes and gives it light and weeds around it (when under the tutelage of many things I get tired). And who reminds me of what it will look like when it breaks through the soil. That it's worth it. And who gives me shade when there's been a lot of sun. He is a great man. And planting with him in his life and mine is an honor.

We are iron sharpening iron to each other.
And we are in a fight together against a very real enemy.
No one ever said planting was easy (That's probably why many people don't).
But let's roll up our sleeves anyway knowing nothing can grow without us being willing to plant together.
Because when others are willing to plant in our garden and we are willing to plant in theirs, it means something.

xoxo,

mp

Adventure

The princess laughed and clapped her hands in delight. "A story!" she exclaimed. "And an adventure story at that! What a fine gift." (from Clever Jack Takes The Cake by Candace Fleming)

 Lately, life has been a series of transitions, changing of seasons, and adventures. And although I feel in my bones the slow and steady sadness of summer coming to an end there is also a lot to be thankful for this summer. Recently, the boy and I took on a water tower chasing project together. You see, water towers are really beautiful. You see them in the distant, majestically mysterious, and find out quickly that they are hard to find. You have to want to find them, you have to seek them out, you have to keep your eye on them and find your way towards them. God has been using a lot of metaphors with this water tower fascination (and I'm sure there will be more to come. and I'm sure I'll want to write about it.) I am so having fun working together as a team with Will on this. It brings a different dynamic to a relationship: chasing towers, editing photos, planning dates around future tower locations, and enjoying what God's made in the middle of it all. Adventure really is a beautiful thing. And a great gift from a great Dad.

Check out the site we made to show the water tower pictures and directions. There will be more on there eventually, too! 

Our WordPress :)

xoxo,

mp

 

(SEARS tower in Rochester, NY)

Light Up The Sky

"You light up the sky to show me You are with me"-The Afters

Yesterday was one of those quintessential summer days and nights. My boyfriend picked me up at my house and we drove to a local park to put my kayak in the water. We paddled all over the ponds, past a sea of water Lilly and yellow flowers, and sat in the kayak talking and laughing with the sun shining down on us.

But you know what's funny?
As incredible and caring and giving this spectacular boyfriend of mine is, he was never meant to fulfill all of my needs. And it wouldn't be fair if I expected him to. (or he expected that of me)
Only Jesus was meant to be that.

I am learning that even someone like Will, who is always affirming, comforting, and thinking of me will will never be enough; my needs are a grand canyon worth of needs and I am a colander when being filled. The next moment, I will need more. And don't get me wrong, I know that there is no one else on the planet I would rather be with and I am so full of thankfulness for the man God brought into my life. He brings a fulfillment and intimacy that I never thought I would have with anyone. 

What I am meaning to say is only that Jesus is telling me that only He is the true lover of my soul. He is the only one who can fill me up to overflowing.
 (with something to have to give for Will or anyone else in my life)

We are needy and sinful at our nature. And aching for love. And we can only truly be satisfied in Him.

But He does provide us with different avenues to reveal Himself and demonstrate this love; my boyfriend being one of those. (One of God's plans, I also believe, is to show me how to love Will right. How to be giving, and thoughtful, and self-sacrificial.)

My point? Last night as I was sitting on my back porch with the boy watching the heat lightning and giggling, Jesus whispered to my heart how much He wants to fulfill me, how deeply He cares for me, and how far He is always willing to go to prove that love (the God of the universe never has to prove anything. But He seems to always want to remind me).

He brought a song to my head I have heard on KLOVE. It's by The Afters and it goes, 

"When I'm feeling all alone with so far to go 

The signs that know we're on this road are guiding me home 

When the night is closing in falling on my skin Oh God, will you come close
You light, light, light up the sky You light up the sky to show me that you are with me  

And I, I, I can't deny no I can't deny that you and right here with me  

You've opened my eyes so I can see you all around me  

When stars are hiding in the clouds I don't feel them shining  

When I can't see beyond my doubt the silver lining  

When I've almost reached the end Like a flood you're rushing in  

Your love is rushing in
So I'll run straight to your arms  

You're the bright and morning sun  

To show your love there's nothing you won't do" 

I couldn't have made that up if I tried. 
In the middle of a heat lightning storm, when the sky was totally lit up, it was as if He was saying...

"I lit up the sky for YOU" 

He knows all of our heart's desires and He wants to bring us to a place of trust that is deeply rooted. What does the Word say about this? That "His goodness leads us to repentance" and that "He draws us in with loving-kindness".  For me, He knows thunderstorms and warm rain are a magical thing in my heart. And there we are, myself and this fulfilled promise that is my boyfriend...on the porch watching the most magical thunderstorm all year.

And the best part?

Just as I was about to burst with joy and thankfulness... 

one single, magical, exquisite, bright firefly flew by.

Fireflies are a really special thing between Jesus and I.

For reasons I don't even understand but can only feel.

And in the middle of it all (when I've never seen one before in my yard and only complain every day of the summer that they are in everyone else's backyards) there it was. One single one. For me.

It was almost as if He was saying, This is all for you. You are my beloved. I have chased you and loved you with an everlasting love. Even when you doubt, even when anxiety creeps in, even when you lose your way, I am unchanging. I know you better than you do. And I love you. And I have watched over you. And tonight is a reminder of the fulfilled promises I gave you long ago. Remember this night when you are holding on to promises to come. Remember I am faithful to fulfill my word. Remember I finish what I start"

As much as I can attempt to have you share in this moment with me, some things can only truly be understood between Jesus and you. Some parts of your heart He carves out just for Him.
Think on those secret places you have with Him today.

And here is the point to all of this: be thankful.
If your eyes are open just enough, there may be a firefly flying by...

 

xoxo,

mp

Heliotropes and Suicide

Oh my. This garden of mine.
I am going to be honest and say I am vulnerably exciting about the garden.
What sanctuary it provides, what rest, what respite from the to-do list...and what wisdom.
In very little ways, God has been using the things I've learned about different flowers and gardening principles to mirror back to me principles about Himself, my relationship with Him, and His Kingdom.
This makes sense, Psalm 19 tells us that He reveals Himself through His creation.

And besides, we can learn a lot from plants. Just these 2 principles alone can help my life tremendously:

1- Seek out the sun -Son- (and move towards it at all cost)

Do you know what the word Heliotrope means? It's from the term Heliotropium, a genus of flower. These flowers are known for their movement in response to the sun.

Heliotrope has also been called “turnsole,” after its tendency to turn its flowers and leaves toward the sun over the course of each day. And at night it readjusts itself to face eastward, to be ready for sunrise. That tendency is at the root of the name heliotrope, too. It means to move with the sun.

(Source)

Here is a picture from my garden of just that same thing.

This plant amazes me. Not only does it leave it's comfortable, secure position but it stretches itself out FEET away from it's root. The other day I came outside to see a 8-9 foot piece sustained in midair. I just kept staring at it, wondering what it was reaching for and how it managed to hold itself up suspended.

 Another example of seeking out the sun and life is this plant, right here.

These flowers are comfortable seeking out life anywhere. They will just pop up wherever they can be sustained. It may look uncomfortable, they may have to share space with a big, bushy, green tree, but they thrive.

2-Cut it off (Or it will drain unnecessary life from the plant)

Basic gardening principle (that I didn't know before), whatever is dying, cut it off. When I asked my friend Emily why we do this she responded, "so the plant isn't sending all it's nutrients and energy to a part of it that will never grow or bear fruit". Bah! Of course! How brilliant this concept is. How much of my time and energy do I put into things that don't matter or will never produce the life that God asks me to produce.

Most plants need us to do this for them, to run around with scissors and cut off all the dead things. It helps them grow faster, right? Jesus, of course, is great at this. But I'm convinced we should be able to do it for ourselves, too. Consider it self-suicide. Ha! And do you know what flower seems to be the best at this? While all other plants are wasting their energy pumping out nutrients to the dead heads I have forgotten to pluck, Wisteria does it itself. It seems that the wisteria bush behind my grill that is frequently exposed to hot, summer grill-outs kills parts of itself that have been damaged by my fun. It doesn't wait for me to come along and clip it.

It realizes that life is precious, moments are ticking, and if a thing is dying...it's time to go.
(Ok, so maybe it doesn't actually realize all of that.)

Jesus, help me learn to cut off the stuff that drains energy you have reserved for something else. Teach me to go out on a limb, to seek you out at all cost, to be comfortable in the uncomfortable, and to daily be seeking Your face.

Also, anyone taken a notice to these things called TREES?! They are pretty incredible, too.....

xoxo,

mp

Proverbs 18:21, Hebrews 11:1

This is really a battle.

And you will never 'arrive'.

You have to fight.

There is a war for your soul.

And excuses won't matter.
(And it doesn't make it feel better).

The enemy will come to steal your focus.

But for lack of vision people perish.

And paying attention to nothing but your defects keeps you unfocused.

Don't forget who you are in Christ and what He wants to do for you.
 Self-pity will not help.

You can't be pitiful and powerful at the same time.

When darkness comes and you can't see clearly....

Stir YOURSELF up.

Because apart from Him you can do nothing.

You can't breathe. You can't see clearly. You can't love. You can't get out of bed.

Thank God for when He brings correction.

Be joyful in the pain and suffering.

Rejoice when He disciplines.

Because in the secret places no one can see you must develop your character.

Your integrity.

(What we do when nobody is looking).

It matters what we do there.

The little things matter.
Turning the lights off, putting the cart back, returning the change.

The same power that raised Christ from the dead is inside you.

We are bought with a price. We've been purchased.

And remember,

You cannot defeat Goliath with your mouth shut.

So speak truth out loud.

Even when it doesn't feel right

And we are to call things that are not yet there as though they were.

 It starts today.