Light Up The Sky

"You light up the sky to show me You are with me"-The Afters

Yesterday was one of those quintessential summer days and nights. My boyfriend picked me up at my house and we drove to a local park to put my kayak in the water. We paddled all over the ponds, past a sea of water Lilly and yellow flowers, and sat in the kayak talking and laughing with the sun shining down on us.

But you know what's funny?
As incredible and caring and giving this spectacular boyfriend of mine is, he was never meant to fulfill all of my needs. And it wouldn't be fair if I expected him to. (or he expected that of me)
Only Jesus was meant to be that.

I am learning that even someone like Will, who is always affirming, comforting, and thinking of me will will never be enough; my needs are a grand canyon worth of needs and I am a colander when being filled. The next moment, I will need more. And don't get me wrong, I know that there is no one else on the planet I would rather be with and I am so full of thankfulness for the man God brought into my life. He brings a fulfillment and intimacy that I never thought I would have with anyone. 

What I am meaning to say is only that Jesus is telling me that only He is the true lover of my soul. He is the only one who can fill me up to overflowing.
 (with something to have to give for Will or anyone else in my life)

We are needy and sinful at our nature. And aching for love. And we can only truly be satisfied in Him.

But He does provide us with different avenues to reveal Himself and demonstrate this love; my boyfriend being one of those. (One of God's plans, I also believe, is to show me how to love Will right. How to be giving, and thoughtful, and self-sacrificial.)

My point? Last night as I was sitting on my back porch with the boy watching the heat lightning and giggling, Jesus whispered to my heart how much He wants to fulfill me, how deeply He cares for me, and how far He is always willing to go to prove that love (the God of the universe never has to prove anything. But He seems to always want to remind me).

He brought a song to my head I have heard on KLOVE. It's by The Afters and it goes, 

"When I'm feeling all alone with so far to go 

The signs that know we're on this road are guiding me home 

When the night is closing in falling on my skin Oh God, will you come close
You light, light, light up the sky You light up the sky to show me that you are with me  

And I, I, I can't deny no I can't deny that you and right here with me  

You've opened my eyes so I can see you all around me  

When stars are hiding in the clouds I don't feel them shining  

When I can't see beyond my doubt the silver lining  

When I've almost reached the end Like a flood you're rushing in  

Your love is rushing in
So I'll run straight to your arms  

You're the bright and morning sun  

To show your love there's nothing you won't do" 

I couldn't have made that up if I tried. 
In the middle of a heat lightning storm, when the sky was totally lit up, it was as if He was saying...

"I lit up the sky for YOU" 

He knows all of our heart's desires and He wants to bring us to a place of trust that is deeply rooted. What does the Word say about this? That "His goodness leads us to repentance" and that "He draws us in with loving-kindness".  For me, He knows thunderstorms and warm rain are a magical thing in my heart. And there we are, myself and this fulfilled promise that is my boyfriend...on the porch watching the most magical thunderstorm all year.

And the best part?

Just as I was about to burst with joy and thankfulness... 

one single, magical, exquisite, bright firefly flew by.

Fireflies are a really special thing between Jesus and I.

For reasons I don't even understand but can only feel.

And in the middle of it all (when I've never seen one before in my yard and only complain every day of the summer that they are in everyone else's backyards) there it was. One single one. For me.

It was almost as if He was saying, This is all for you. You are my beloved. I have chased you and loved you with an everlasting love. Even when you doubt, even when anxiety creeps in, even when you lose your way, I am unchanging. I know you better than you do. And I love you. And I have watched over you. And tonight is a reminder of the fulfilled promises I gave you long ago. Remember this night when you are holding on to promises to come. Remember I am faithful to fulfill my word. Remember I finish what I start"

As much as I can attempt to have you share in this moment with me, some things can only truly be understood between Jesus and you. Some parts of your heart He carves out just for Him.
Think on those secret places you have with Him today.

And here is the point to all of this: be thankful.
If your eyes are open just enough, there may be a firefly flying by...

 

xoxo,

mp