In The Now

She thought to herself, "This is now."

She was glad that the cozy house, and Pa and Ma and the firelight and the music, were now. They could not be forgotten, she thought, because now is now. It can never be a long time ago. (From Little House In The Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder)

I'm getting married in 24 days. 

Wait, I just need to say that again....

I'm getting married in 24 days.

I have thought about re-reading through many of my blog posts on Hephzibah. After all, I began posting in the middle of storms, fire, and tears.  And when I think back to the nights I was scared, I was fighting, and Jesus was whispering promises in my ear, I realize now... it really was worth it.

Here I am, looking at promises breathe on me years before it could ever seem possible.

Here I am, reflecting back on every move He made and intricate weave He weaved to get me here.

...and it really moves me.

This is now. It's not perfect, I wish I had come further, it was a messy (but beautiful) journey to this point, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be than in this very moment of now.

I am content.

And not because everything has gone perfectly or even because I have disillusionment of perfection.

I am content because I'm where I'm suppose to be. And because I have gotten the smallest glimpse of the faithfulness, protection, and guidance of my Creator. Because I have heard Him say things that have come to pass. And I have seen Him push me to walk on water that actually held me up. I have seen Him be who He said He was and do what He said He'd do. I have watched my heart slowly and painfully be changed and my life radically lifted up, knocked around, and set back on solid ground.

And I pray I would remember this.

That I would apply this truth and experience to every other that comes my way.

The Israelites forgot and I probably will do.

But the Word says to mark down guideposts and road signs. And I pray that in the middle of fear or worry or sadness to come I would read this post and every other I have posted and see, without a doubt, the magnificent hand of God resting over my every moment.

But for now, now is now. And I'm glad to be in it.

xoxo,

mp