Fruit

Sukkot is one of my favorite High Holidays on the Jewish calendar! It's about (amongst many other things) being thankful for the fruit in your life in a season where things are dying (Fall). How beautiful is that? There's a real correlation in my mind. Most times, death is required before fruit can be produced and here we are, leaves changing vibrant reds and yellows, falling to the ground and dying while we think about the fruit in our lives.
As we are in Sukkot, a time to remember how God provided for the Israelites as they wandered the desert, I am reminded of being thankful for harvest both literal and metaphorical. And while it's hard to understand a world where what's in your fridge correlates to what's in your bank account (thank you credit card company?) I can understand spiritual fruit. You don't invest, you avoid the unpleasant, you refuse to trust the Lord, you want the easy way out...and wam bam you get what you want, but it really wasn't what you wanted. And the bonus? No spiritual fruit was produced in you.

And don't get me wrong, it's easier to not have spiritual fruit produced in your character. The process of dying to self, learning to lean, and being honest with God about your true state stinks.

But when it's all said and done, we are glad we did it every time.

And since this fruit thang thang has been on my brain, and I just so happened to be in the book of Galatians, I started looking at the fruit of the spirit...and realizing how unnatural it really seems to me:

• love
• joy
• peace
• forbearance
• kindness
• goodness
• faithfulness
• gentleness
• self-control

Now before you start thinking you've got it on lock down and I'm a hot mess...I'm not talking about the really good moods and good days when everything is going right and it's easy to be some of these things. Or days when you can fake it really well. I'm talking about this being a part of my character, so much so that it seeps out naturally in my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. Because, let's be real...loving someone other than your self is entirely foreign (your whole life you are the center). That's why mothers are like super heros to me. Or goodness? Please. I can't even help myself be a hypocritical fool on the road pointing out everyones mistakes they make driving when I just practiced the same behavior 1 minute prior on the of ramp of 490. Patience? The absolute toughest for me and not in my nature. Self-control? Ha...

And it's not that I don't try, I do. In fact, most of the problem results from my effort. This is not a battle of sweat and muscling through. I will never bear these traits in my being by mere brute force. This is a hard concept to really get. But truthfully, there is more power in an open and raw dialogue with God about where you are with these things. Not covering it up, or pretending, or doing better next time, but a realization of your person; controlled by emotions, selfish, impatient, and doubtful...and letting Him see all of it.

I want these things to be woven into my character. I want to have my life be lived for others. And mostly, I want to do things and be these things when no one is looking but Jesus. Because I want Him to be my only audience and motivation.

Take a look right by that section in Galatians when you get a chance. You will see another portion dedicated to acts of the sinful nature. Whether I like to admit it often or not, I am much more familiar with those acts. Those are like dear friends at times.

During that time walking around in the desert, God was clear about something: rely on Me. Don't store up the food, don't try and turn around, don't make your own way. Just follow the fire by night and the pillar of smoke by day...and slowly, year after year, you will get there.

I just hope I don't go around in circles making a journey that should take 2 weeks, a journey that lasted 40 years.

So, be honest with Him.
But mostly be honest with yourself.
And trust that what He requires, although uncomfortable, produces what you really do want.

Happy Sukkot!
mp