"I Will Be Happy When..."

The deadly phrase, "I will be happy when_________".

Fill in the blank for yourself.
It has left many of us, myself included, drowning in a sea of discontent.
We are not sure how we arrived there, how long we have been there exactly, or even how to get out; that's how it usually goes.
No one wants to be swimming in that sea.
And we certainly always think we will never find ourselves there.

But sometimes, as it turns out, we end up wading in just that type of salty water.

And that's just what it is; salty water.
Ever swam in the ocean?
Oh sure, it looks beautiful. It even sounds beautiful. But we all remember the first time we swam in it. Naive and full of excitement...until we got our first gulp.
It was like sucking down on a bottle of beautifully blue soy sauce.
And even though it looks deceptively beautiful,that salty water will dehydrate you.
But make no mistake, once you taste your first gulp you learn quickly how to swim with your mouth locked up like Alcatraz.
We don't keep taking gulps over and over again, temporarily forgetting it doesn't really satisfy.
We don't drink until we are dehydrating, thirsting for some nice, refreshing, clean water.
We make the first mistake. We learn. And we make sure we take note: ocean water-yucky, tap water-yummy.
So why is it different with other things? Is dementia to be blamed?

What's your word?

I'll be happy when______

I have a good job.

I'm thinner.

I get married.

I get divorced.

I have a house.

I graduate from college.

I move.

I'm recognized.

I have a child.

I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I recently got back from a trip to Hawaii in May with some students of mine. I've always been really drawn to trees. I think it's just the magnitude they are able to portray. You understand, looking at a 400 year old tree, just how small you are in the scheme of things. These trees have weathered many storms, they have seen leaves bloom and leaves fall, and there they still stand.

But I think most of all, what I am captivated by are their roots. These roots are the reason they are still standing. These roots are the way in which they derive their nutrients. These roots have dug through pavement, around rocks, split through metal poles; anything in their way to secure their foundation and longevity. We could all learn something from trees.

I want to live the same way. I want to have my roots dig deep. I want to have a sure and solid foundation that waves of desire and winds of lies cannot ruin. I want to know so deeply in my core who I am in Christ what He is for me that I won't need all these other ideas to satisfy. I want to derive my nourishment, my joy, my everything from clean, pure, water and not salty water.

Sometimes we don't even know why we want these things we think will make us happy. It's like one of my favorite writers, David Foster Wallace said in a novel he wrote called Infinite Jest, "like most North Americans of his generation, Hal tends to know way less about why he feels certain ways about the objects and pursuits he's devoted to than he does about the objects and pursuits themselves. It's hard to say for sure whether this is even exceptionally bad, this tendency."


And we all know this, we are not blind to this fact. We all realize at our most conscious and alert state that 'things' or 'novelties' or 'people' won't make us happy. But sometimes, without knowing it, we end up in the middle of that ocean, wading through the salty water...


Ultimately...it's never going to quench your thirst.
And really... it's a mirage.
And honestly... it's more like a lie.
And sometimes...I forget that the only thing that can possibly quench that thirst is Him.
Because...in Him I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28)
And whether I like that idea or not (because sometimes it's frustrating)...I'm glad it stands true.
(And I certainly want to have my foundation built on something that will stand).

So, I'm just writing to remind myself,
And maybe you if you're swimming out there with me.

xoxo,
mp

You need to learn a secret; What you have in your Shepherd is greater than what you don't have in life.