Hold Me While it Hurts

If there's one thing that's happened this summer (besides a beautiful trip to Hawaii, Italy, loosing my job, and backpacking the Finger Lakes Trail, ha! Did all that really happen?!) ...it's a deep revelation of God the Father. I have realized my most powerful weapon is intimacy, vulnerability, and a raw nature with God.
This, however, is one of the scariest things we can do. Opening up the most ugly parts of yourself to a God who is not only unimaginably holy and good but who is also the victim of some of your own misunderstandings of His character....is a bit unnerving. But He was patient and relentless....and is beginning to show me where His power is made perfect.

And since I don't have a super great understanding of fathers, this one was tough for me. Are dads a distant and firm presence in your life? Are they monitors of moral behavior? Are they angry at you? Are they uninterested? Do you have to be strong to win their love? Do you have to win their love? Do you have to do things to fight for their attention? Of course the answer to all of these is no.

But the one question I found myself asking Him is,

"Is it possible for me to trust You completely and still cry?"

And the one thing He keeps saying is,

"Let Me hold you while it hurts".

Because, see, trusting God in a transition or tough time doesn't mean you are super strong, without emotions, and totally fine. You can still be sad, still be emotional, still need to be held...while you are still trusting in a God who's perspective is so much bigger and who knows so much more.

The lie is that we have to be strong, brave, courageous, and emotionless if we are really trusting God.

It says that if you were really trusting, you wouldn't need to be held, or hugged, or ball your eyes out on 490E on the way home like some climatic rainstorm/car scene in an indie movie.

But here is what I know to be true:
1-I trust God in this transition but what I have to let go of in order to move to the 'new thing' is painful.
2-I trust God with some desires I have placed before Him, but while I am waiting for those things to come into my life...it can be hard.

And He is saying, for both those things,

"Let me hold you while it's hurting"

So, if you're trying to be strong...just let Him hold you. Just because it hurts doesn't mean you don't trust Him.

xoxo

mp


But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not YET have, we wait for it patiently... (Romans 8:24-25)