"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting my life is" Psalm 39:4 NLT
As of late, there has been this desire growing in me for a secret get-away. I want to find a mountain top, a place with an entirely different perspective of the everyday; both literally and metaphorically. A place to pray-to really get a perspective shift. Maybe a once a month sort of thing. Jesus had them. I think it's a good idea.
Prayer helps correct myopia, calling to mind a perspective I daily forget. I keep reversing roles, thinking of ways in which God should serve me, rather than vice versa. It's a way to realize my tininess and God's vastness. (Yancey)
I think without this sort of intentional shifting of our everyday, our illusions become more of what we perceive as reality. I begin to forget I don't know best, I start to think I am not so small, I want God to be manipulated by me, and truth becomes harder to identify in the midst of everything else.
More importantly (and more terrifying than anything else), is my illusions of control. Without a perspective shift, a mountain top prayer place, I begin to think I really am in control. I forget God made the moon and the heavens and that if the Milky Way galaxy were the size of the entire continent of North America, our solar system would fit in a coffee cup. (wow!) I start to crown myself queen... God even. And I'm not a good God. I don't really know much past my immediate desires and limited scope of vision. And I certainly have nothing in control.
Phillip Yancey said it best, "I live in the daily hope of getting my life under control. At home I left a desk covered with to-do lists" study the manual for my balky printer unclog pine needles in the gutter, unstick the toilet, change snow tires, check on my sick neighbor. Maybe if I take a day off, I'll have time... On the mountain one bolt of lightning, splitting a rock on a nearby peak and exploding against my eardrums, exposes any illusion that I am ever in control. I can count on the moment before me, nothing more".
So, as I let go of my illusions I find in place of a false sense of security...a Father.
Who is good and for me.
Who has got it all under control.
Who I can blindly follow and know it will work out.
And who just wants me to be honest and raw about the me that keeps wanting to get in the way.
Because humility, the step down, makes possible God's lifting us up. By trying to be strong, I'm blocking God's power.
So cheers to stepping down (every month).
And here's to hoping I can find that perfect place!
xoxo,
mp
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