Brave, Generally

 (Source)

"I'm very brave generally," he went on in a low voice: "only today I happen to have a headache." 
 (from Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll)

 I started reading Joshua this morning. Two words kept sticking out to me:

Strong. Courageous.

God tells the people, "Be strong and very courageous." and then later says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged."

While I do think sometimes it's easier to become discouraged, I am realizing that courageous and brave is not what I had thought it to be.

 Something struck me a few months ago while I was waiting at a red light.

(Side note: I rarely have such profound thoughts at red lights. Typically, I am impatient.

I wish I'd get better at not wasting my moments while I'm at red lights.

Did you know the average person spends 2 weeks of their life waiting for the traffic light to change? That's two weeks I'll never get back being antsy....)

My whole life I have thought that being brave or having courage meant you didn't actually feel that scaredy-pants-pang down deep in your gut. I always thought it was talking about those brave few souls. The people who never feel the butterflies in their stomach, or the roller coaster ride pit/I'm-going-to-puke Feeling. I always thought of them entering into these situations free from all doubts and worries.

They weren't like me, calculating everything that could go wrong.

They weren't like me, speaking doubts and fears out-loud to myself the whole way there.

They weren't like me, convinced I'd fail before I started.

But the truth is, being brave doesn't mean you don't feel all those things, it just means you walk forward in the face of all of those feelings anyway.

I think everyone who has walked into a burning building was still scared.

And I think every man's heart who has protected his family from an intruder 

was bursting out of his chest.

And every woman who went into labor was nervous.

But they all did it anyway.

My problem is I tend to be immobilized by fear, initially.

I needed to say everything that could go wrong before I would move forward.

It almost seemed like if I was able to point to all the things stacked up against me, I wouldn't be such a failure if it all went wrong. I couldn't be held responsible.

But the truth is, God doesn't expect me to not have some queezy, can-I-really-do-this feelings. But He does expect me to move forward anyway.

Right after the Lord commanded people in Joshua to be courageous and strong, he also said,

"For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

So, I want to start making it a habit of accepting my scared feelings as normal,

Not pointing to everything that could potentially go wrong,

And walk forward in the face of it all anyway.

Because He gets that I'm a scaredy-cat. But He also reminds me He's with me.

So grab His hand the next time you're scared...and walk anyway.

xoxo,

mp