The Unchanging In My Change

"The stationary, yet incomprehensible constant. You cannot change, yet You change everything. You are never new, yet never old. But You make all things new."

-The Confessions of St. Augustine

I recently started reading The Confessions of St. Augustine. St. Augustine was a writer of theological works, his life span from 354-430. Why chose to read works from such an 'old man'? Nothing is new under the sun. I had a desire to read about revelations or insights or God's work from awhile ago. I think I need to be reminded of how big He is and how long He has been doing what He has been doing. I wanted to also gain wisdom from people awhile ago. Sometimes, exposing yourself to perspectives only within a certain season gives you a limited scope. What was this man struggling with back then? What were his sins? How did he approach God? What was God like then?
I think the truth is, St. Augustine sat in a room wondering how He got where He was, too.
He asked God for help to love his Creator just like the rest of us when our fire grows cold.
I'm sure at times He tried to earn grace.
And He, too, was frustrated with His limitations and sinful nature.

But it's so refreshing to see that God has always been and will always be exactly the same.

So, as sort of an ode to St. Augustine...

Thank you, Jesus.

I want so much, but can give back so little.

I make promises, just to muscle through them and fail.

I'm reminded of truth, only to forget not long after.

I hear your whispers, only to block out your voice.

I'm stilled, and then I pick back up anxiety.

I'm washed clean, to roll back around in dirt.

My hears cries out, only to be hardened again.

Tears fall, fortresses go back up.

But You, Lord, stay the same through the ages.

I'm so grateful that it's impossible to do this life with Him through my own strength.

I'm breathless when I realize His love for people who can't seem to get it together.

And I've fallen in love with a God I so easily fall out of love with.

Because, He will never change.

No matter how many times I do.

Ephesians 6:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--"

When you feel out of love or distance seems like home,

When you just came seem to pull it together,

When you thrash about in your heart's changing nature,
When you've found yourself back to what you ran away from,

When you've failed more times than you care to think about...

He will always finish what He starts in You.

After all, God is not surprised by our failures.

But He is a jealous and determined God.

xoxo,

mp